I'm at War

current mood: Reflective, Sorrowful
current music: My Vietnam, Pink (M!ssundaztood)

[sounds of bombs, drums, and helicopters] Daddy was a soldier / He taught me about freedom / Peace and all the great things / That we take advantage of / Once I fed the homeless / I'll never forget / The look upon their faces as I / Treated them with respect // This is my Vietnam / I'm at war / Life keeps on dropping bombs / And I keep score // Mama was a lunatic / She liked to push my buttons / She said I wasn't good enough / But I guess I wasn't trying / Never liked school that much / They tried to teach me better / But I just wasn't hearing it / Because I thought I was already pretty clever // This is my Vietnam / I'm at war / Life keeps on dropping bombs / And I keep score // This is my Vietnam / I'm at war / They keep on dropping bombs / And I keep score // What do you expect from me / What am I not giving you / What could I do for you / To make me okay in your eyes // This is my Vietnam / This is my Vietnam / I'm at war, at war / They keep on dropping bombs / And I keep score // This is my Vietnam / I'm at war / Life keeps on dropping bombs / And I keep score // This is my Vietnam / This is my Vietnam
[sounds of bombs, gunfire, and a guitar playing the national anthem]

Well Daddy wasn't a soldier, and Mama wasn't a lunatic. Daddy was a farmer. Father was a garbage man and wrecker driver. Mama was caring. Mother was inept. And Mom was a lunatic.

And you thought it bad with just one or two parents... Try a total of five.

I did once feed the homeless. And I wept.

Mom always pushed my buttons and always told me I wasn't good enough. Even though I tried. I loved school. It was the only sanctuary I had.

I was scared. I was lost. I was running.

I ran for so long. Now I am afraid to stop.

I did stupid things... And life certainly dropped its bombs.

And I'm still dealing with the fallout.

Dear God, is it painful to experience! And when removed from myself, so painful to watch. I am at war... with myself.

When does the war end? When is 'my Vietnam' over? When can I stop running? Lord, let it stop!

For now, I'm still at War.